I sat staring at waves
And endless systematic recycling
The power and the majesty of it
I remember when it stripped you naked, almost killed you, made you throw up.
But I saved you.
And all that memory does for me now is make me fatigued.
I stand alone in a fairy circle
Crumbling mountains and star rocks scattered and strewn
The subtle humility of it all
The air is filthy but crisp.
I remember you fucked me without question.
Twice.
But no woman has ever made me a man.
I'm done standing and I sit in an empty hallway
The walls are hard and they echo every time I slam my head against the wall
I can hear the voices of hundreds
Each one a reminder that I am alien.
I hear her crying because I am alien.
And they all stare at me like I am alien.
I sit in the back of a police cruiser as handcuffs cut into my wrists.
I sit on cold concrete as handcuffs cut into my wrists
I am slammed on the hood of a police cruiser as handcuffs cut into my wrists
I sit lined up with friends on hot blacktop as handcuffs cut into our wrists.
It all makes me tired so I am laying down
Almost everything makes me tired so I am almost always laying down.
I lay on a fold out mat, cold sweats and hallucinations.
I lay on a fold out mat and my nervous system stops working.
I lay on a fold out mat and they tell me I can sleep on a bunk tonight.
The spot next to wear I was laying...he had been drinking too much mouth wash and I would have woken up covered in minty fresh liquid shit.
I curl into a ball...
you and I have been free-basing crack for a couple of days straight now and we are arguing but I can't follow it anymore.
It doesn't make sense to me anymore.
All of my friends are gone and I'm spun out and you're talking too fast and the yelling is hurting my ears and I can't understand you maybe if you would talk softer or slower it would help or something or maybe more crack...or do we have black? Maybe some weed or some tequila...give me something anything, I just need something because I hear you but I don't understand and I can't make myself understand on my own so I need...a looking glass, a metaphor, a translator, something to let me know that everything you're talking about isn't as insane as I swear to god I know it is.
...
I wish I could wrap this up nicely
I wish I could give you the ending that you've all been watching for.
I wish I could tell you everything was going to be alright, but it's not.
This is real life.
This is your will against the world, kid.