It's finally 2017 and the whole world is a new and wonderful place now that the terrible 2016 is all behind us. Thank the gods!
I don't really have anything else to say about it really.
I was going to try to be smart or funny or something, but in reality I think this year is probably going to be a lot more of the same.
I think that's why it's a good idea to laugh a lot at jokes.
And we have jokes!
So many jokes!
We are rolling dice right now to figure out exactly what date we are going to be releasing Shit Baby, but it's a long process where we have to roll the dice x amount of times and then divide that number by the percentage of people that we think are going to be reading this comic in the first place, and then multiply that by the median age, and then just round the whole thing down, triple it, add sales tax, spin a globe and wherever we point our finger when it stops is when we will be releasing Shit Baby to the world.
It's science from a different time, and possibly a different world, but math is the universal language and you can not tell me that it's not.
Now then, let me tell you a story of love.
She screamed and flailed about in a frenzy. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" And then she jumped on the windshield of his already moving vehicle.
"Holy fuck...ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!?! GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY CAR!" He screamed, but she wouldn't, so he ran and ran and ran, barefoot into the darkness while she screamed and cried after him.
Finally he found himself in some sort of suburban wilderness, curled up in the fetal position by a pool of shitty stagnant water, teeming with mosquitos. He could hear her off in the distance, by the side of the road, what sounds like a truck of men have pulled over to find out why she was crying and they are now calling out warnings to him, letting him know they are searching for him and they are hear to kick his ass.
He covers his ears and begins to cry himself.
This entire thing is a living nightmare and he can hardly even believe it's happening...to tell you the truth, he can't even remember what the argument even started over. He's just confused and cold and scared.
finally the men give up the search and it sounds like they take her home.
He sits up and pulls a tinfoil pipe out of his hoodie pouch and smokes the rocks he took with him before he tried to drive off.
You know...they might fight a lot, but she is his soul mate.
She is his everything.
She is beautiful and dark and fragile and strong and artistic and feral and domestic and a walking contradiction just like he is.
He takes another pull on his pipe.
This is the most in love he's ever been.
- Dane